FREE JONATHAN ELENDU

Nigerian Government,

When you fear criticism, then what is being said must be true. You are one of the most useless institutions out there and that is because you are populated with incompetent, corrupt and self serving individuals whose usefulness has expired and whose goals and objectives benefit no one but themselves.

As a citizen, I have the God given right to say all this and as a human being, I can do that also. If you are not going to do anything good with yourselves, at least don't do anything worse. Let the man go, if he has not said anything true, why are you worried? And if he did do something unconstitutional, there are the appropriate channels to bring him to justice.

Or are you planning to come for the rest of us too?

Farafina's latest issue out

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It's the Year of Thanksgiving

Picture got from here

The new spiritual new year has begun and it is the Year of Thanksgiving. You have come a long way and I know that if you push aside the mist of challenges that might exist to obscure your vision of your life, you will find alot to be thankful for.

Thus, in the spirit of all things blogger (because asking you for something else might be intruding on your personal space) I would like to invite you to tell me:

1. One blog you are thankful for

2. One blogville sponsored event you are thanful for

3. One new thing that you learned on blogger that you are thankful for and

4. One blogger that you are thankful for.

Leadership by example dictates that I must say mine so I will list as follows;

Blog I am thankful for: Naijablog. I am there every day.

Blogville sponsored event: 14TH AND SERENITY. It was an experience on its own and allowed me to converse with some of the most interesting people on blogville. In the event that people argue that I can't plug my own event, then I say BLOGVILLE IDOLS; because it was the first one that I saw that gave me the idea for mine.

New thing I learned: To seperate the blog from the blogger. Not everything you read is as it presents itself and not all bloggers are as they present themselves online. Thus in real life, learn to look at whatever or whomever you are looking at from a higher point of view. You see more and are never dissappointed but always surprised.

One Blogger I am thankful for: I should have made this option plural because for me there are so many. I will say Rayo because she introduced me to blogging....and because she knows where I live so I don't want her to come smother me in my sleep...cos I really wanted to say...

And you?

A loud silence

Tomorrow, October 22nd, 2008, I am inviting you to join me in a move to

Break the Silence and support the Congo in her struggle for stability and freedom from an exploitative west. This week is Congo Week and this is a way for you to join hands to make your voice heard...through your silence.

From 11 am till 5pm, I implore you to join the CELL OUT!!!. Switch off your phones from 11 am till 5 pm in a boycott of the cell phone industry. Coltane which is used in the manufacture of cell phones and other electronic devices has been the motivating factor behind the exploitation and death of millions in the Congo. Congo has as one of its multitude of abundant resources, this mineral called Coltane.

There was a time when we did not have cell phones. You can make a difference. Join me in the CELL OUT.

You know some of your people have fucked up real bad when this conversation appears as part of the dialogue in a DISNEY cartoon:

BOY
Wha are you up to?

GIRL
I need to get money

BOY
What for?

GIRL
Someone has been sending me emails for investments in Nigeria. I need to get back to them

BOY
Uhh, I wouldn't do that if I were you....


So here's a big thank you to all you mother fuckers who ran this country to the ground and encouraged corruption and crime in all its forms. Nigeria is now a punchline for Disney's prepuberscent kids !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is it true?

Catwalq: How come these porn stars have such great skin? Ehn, I want to look like one.

Catwalq's Aunty: Don't you know they say that sperm is good for the skin?

Catwalq: Haba! Aunty mi!!!!!!

Catwalq's Aunty: I am serious. Ask someone.

Catwalq: u mean sex? or you mean as lotion?

Catwalq's Aunty: Yes!!!

Catwalq: (rolling on the floor laughing her beautiful african derriere off)


So to you guys: Ngbo?!!!Is it true? Has anyone heard any such thing?

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Yeah, I said it...and...?

I was having a conversation today with a dear friend of mine and we were recounting experiences we had with fellow Nigerian women with regards to the following: sex, marriage and children (to have or not to have). I personally am fatigued from discussing this topic but I still find it fascinating because I find that I am in the minority with regards to how I address and analyse the above mentione topics.

I love sex. I think it is a natural function that can be used for both recreation and procreation. I do not entertain any guilt of any kind associated with it because I am an adult who chooses to responsible for my thought, words and actions. Thus, religious endorsements or lackthereof on me having sex outside of the oh-so-sacred institution of marriage is of no consequence to me. I think that with regards to sex, we all have to be honest with ourselves. In any decision regarding what you allow yourself to experience, it all boils down to you and what your comfort level is. If you won't do something, it's then not your place to impose upon others the same decision. Therefore, if you like sex and want to have it, that is your business and if you want to experience it only within marriage, that is your business too. The pervese comes into sex when the experience is either to someone's disadvantage or guilt gets involved.

I don't think marriage is sacred or any of that nonsense. It is a socio-economic partnership with emotional ties included. It is important only to whom it is important. If it does not work out, it--the contract--can be severed and another created. I refuse to compromise on my happiness because I think it is delusional to think that you can make someone else happy when you are not.


Children are also important to whom they are important. Having ovaries does not a good mother make. I was tickled pink by the many comments on Solomonsydelle's post about a woman (I am assuming she is an adult) who wrote in asking for advice on whether or not she should have an abortion. Me, if I don't want a pregnancy, I am getting rid of it but also I should be smart enough to use birth control if I am going to be sexually active. As a woman, you have to be in control of every decision that involves your life and your body. That is what makes you a woman: self responsibility. As much as people would like to spout religious text as the basis for why they would advise for one to keep a pregnancy, none of them would be there to experience with you the joys and PAINS of motherhood. And please don't imagine that because there is a father involved that he is obligated to share the experience. It would be ideal and props have to be given to committed and involved fathers--and I am not saying that men are so dispensable--but when you remember that should anything wrong happen with that child, society would ask for the mother's identity, you start to evaluate your role as a mother rather differently (or I would hope)
Anyone can be a mother and at any time they wish. It just depends on how you define motherhood. I have said this before and will say it again: Carrying a child inside of you for nine months does not mean that the child is obligated to love you. And I will add, that I think that should not be the maximum of your accomplishments. Unless that is how you choose to identify yourself: birther of another human being.

I feel that those who share my views don't get heard in the sea of stereotypical "traditional" opinions. It seems like the majority feel like views like mine are not deserving of being expressed. I think most of us are not corageous enough to say what we really feel in the face of opposing majority view. If I have offended anyone...I am not sure I care.

I am just someone who refuses to define myself along the lines of whether or not I am a virgin, whether or not I am married and how many full grown ovaries I am pushing out of my vagina. I am other things. And those things are much more important to my definition of womanhood.

Feel free to disagree. Or not.

Yesterday, my teacher wept as he recounted the tale of how the remains of enslaved Africans were laid to rest in lower Manhattan after having been exhumed in the early 90s by chance during thr construction of a major landmark in New York. He did not bawl. Tears simply ran down his face as he discussed ancestors for the Africans all over the world. He spoke with pride about how Howard University was selected to conduct the research and forensic study simply because it was the only school the supporters of the cause could think of with black scientists they felt they could trust to conduct the research without influence and tampering.

For many years, the bodies resided on the campus while undergraduate, graduate, faculty and visiting scholars painstakingly tried to piece together whatever history they could on the remains they had found. He described the interment ceremony with emotion and how the bodies journeyed through all the predominantly black states on the east coast in coffins handcarved from Ghana and lined with handwoven kente cloth. It was a wonderful tale. He ended by saying that one day, we--the students--will be called upon to stand for something and in that moment of decision we will realise what our training/education/degree had been for.

It got me thinking about my country whose birthday had just past. For the past four three years of my being here, I celebrated Nigeria's independence day with much more vigor and enthusiasm than I had done my whole life. I would put on my nicest African fabric, braving the fall weather to brand myself as someone in celebration of my countries efforts. I never really thought of those who might have died so I could have a country but I would think of those who continue the struggle because they have decided to stand for something. They stand for their country, their nation and their people. They know what their training is for and that is their lives calling.

This year, I did not carry my portable shrine of fabric on my skin. I did not show up at any of the many parties being thrown around the city (not that I ever went: there is just something not so appropriate about dry humping in the name of independence) and I did not sit painstakingly texting everyone in my phone book and wishing them a happy independence day. Funny enough, neither did they. I did not rush to my blog to put a post displaying my e-patriotism. It was just an ordinary day. Me, and all my issues trudging through the cycle of it, hoping to get to the next one not as bruised as one feared. And the situation at home unchanging.

We are 48. And so? What have we done to show that we remember those who fought so we wouldn't have to? What have we done to take the name forced on us and brand it a superior identity? Not much.

But still....it is home. A forty eight year old home whose foundations are still there but whose structure is bending in the wind.

Happy birthday old girl. Everything is going to be okay....