Letters to Moi...by popular demand

Below are questions that were posed to Ms Catwalq and she has dutifully answered

UnNaked Soul said...

Is catwalq a figment of my imagination?: Depends on what you have been drinking.

Is she an alien?: Her passport from venus says citizen...if that is what you are asking.

How did you get the name "Bani-Baraje" and what does it mean? Bani-Baraje is a combination of Bani Productions and Baraje Couture...,the name of one of the other blogs that you ought to be reading. Bikonu

when is the sex part of CATWALQ ACADEMIE going to start? abi are the cast asexual?: You do realise that these students are in JSS 3? Abi, which kind of peadophillic mentality are you fostering here?tsk, tsk tsk....*clears throat* wait and see, may be there will be something soon.

1:53 AM

princesa said...

lol@unnaked! Rotten guy!!!

Catty my question is:
What is the rationale behind your cast choices? The original installments were of bloggers that I enjoyed and some that I did not quite understand.
I mean why would you cast princesa as just mumbling "yes", "Hmmm" and and cast kpakpando as the mischievous/naughty one.: Lol!!!

I need some action role abeg!: What EXACTLY do you want to do? Don't worry, the xmas show is coming up

2:41 AM

UnNaked Soul said...

since princesa wants an action role, can u star us in a coded zone scene, doing you-know-what... :-D: Unnaked, step away from your pee-pee. Keep your hands above your head

abi how u check am princesa? it will be fun I promise u...: Princessa dear, ignore him.

2:51 AM

Teediva said...

have u ever caught teediva and any of the senior boys in a err...compromising postion, seeing as she's so naughty? *lol* : well, she was recently spotted exiting from a science lab, dishevelled and harried. A few seconds later, guess who stepped out...?

7:28 AM

Atutupoyoyo said...

Madam Catwalq is it true that you faked your certificates from The Universal Institute of Joblessness and Laziness? The institute has never heard of you.: Erm, erm, I do not know what you are talking about. Next question please

Is Baraje pronounced BA-RA-JEH or BA-RAHJ?: Ba-ra-jeh. With the "jeh" having the e from "eggs" and not an "a"

Do rumours of several affairs with some UnNamed cast members have any foundation?: I thought we agreed to keep it between us, ehn Atutu? ....

How does a girl like you end up being a girl like you?: Men, that is another blog all together. You have to be born in Benin, grow up on a daily dose of books and an over protective mother, serious inferiority complex hidden by a creative mind, loneliness, overcoming near paralysis and discovering the joys of physical release. Or you can just take the short cut and smoke something.

Are you already starting to regret the promise you made to answer all these questions?: Nope, bring it on!!!!

7:40 AM

Allied said...

Is it true that you will be the first to direct a bollywood Catwalq Academie with an all Nigerian cast?: I guess....why do you think the film version will be in Hindi?

8:41 AM

Olamild said...

Na wa o

I heard that The Universal Institute of Joblessness and Laziness is very proud to have you as its first graduate, na lie abi truth? : I am their most famous graduate

Some of your fans said Your name catwalq means you like to walk like a cat and they want to ask.....Do you like cats?: I don't like any animals that I cannot eat or have tattooed on me

12:07 PM

gishungwa said...

The comments have done it for me.
Cast me pretty please with a cherry on top: Send in your application to Catwalqb@gmail.com. What was your score in Common Entrance?

laspapi said...

Do you have a director's couch? Do you make use of it?: Mr. Laspapi, you have been avoiding the summons I have given you to come to my office "after school". When you come, I will answer all your questions...and more *wink*

Could you answer Atutupoyoyo's "Do rumours of several affairs with some UnNamed cast members have any foundation?": Mr. Laspapi....after school, all your needs and concerns will be addressed.....

11:07 PM

Jaybabe said...

Ehen..in that script you gave to me, where i act against Eddiie, i don't understand, shud i be on top or Eddiie shud be on top? Coz when i read, the guidelines are written back to forth. Were you lazy or that is what we are supposed to do?: I am sorry,...what?!!!!

simplynuttie said...

Universal school of joblessness and laziness alone?: I did not get admission elsewhere

What kind of degree would you end up with after graduating or your school is for a lifetime?: I am not even sure. I think I will just be a housewife. The senate is already filled up with people with the same credentials....

exschoolnerd said...

do u sometimes get inspiration on what to write in the toilet doing a number 2? Yes...especially after taking Ketrax or expired Andrew Liver Salts...

Carlang said...

Nice post dear.
Glad to know i'm not the only one who suffers occasional mentalblocks.
Still..
You've got talent dear.
it's probably one of the reasons why i like you.

What's that?
WHat are the other reasons?
Damn it. Here comes the mental block again....: Carlang, sweetie, come and sit on my lap. Tell me what the problem is...ehn, come here

4:52 AM

N.I.M.M.O said...

After answering all the other questions, answer this:

'Is there anything else about Catwalq that we need to know?': Depends, do you have all your questions answered?

Nimmo

8:05 AM

Rayo said...

Can you explain to these people what "shaking plastic" is...hehehehehehe lololol!!!

*ehm...* sorry, lack of sleep.: Ashewo. "Shaking Plastic" is your plastic covered, battery operated companion...when the oga is out of town....

2:42 PM

Teediva said...

erm, and catwalq, is lagba-jess meant to mean a female lagbaja...or am i just tied up? and when do we get more gist about ur ashawo..er strike that out..courtesan madame?: It was Yosh that nicknamed me Lagbajess and he has let me o. he has left me. Leave my oga alone...and how do u know that she exists?

Queen of My Castle said...

LMAO!!! These comments are hilarious. If anyone can put a spark back under the once dimming World of Blogville, it's Ms. Cawalq.: Why, thank you

Question: How does it feel to be pursued by so many men of Blogville?: If it were only true....

10:05 AM

Jinta said...

Which aspects of the show got us hooked when we jumped to the 5th episode?: Haba, uncle, you did not read the series? there was the mango tree climbing episode, noisemakers list, the time I was ill and the cast came to see me, the Ghana-must-go incident and the n when anonymous gave the class something to drink....

10:14 AM

Phew!!!

UPDATE: The fire alarm is ringing in my building right now. Me, I am not getting up from my laptop. People ask me why?
People: Catwalq why?
Ans: 1. did the fire not realise that it is snowing outside? abi, what kind of oloriburuku type fire wants to be burning at 12.15 am? And if it is a fire drill, mo sorry gan, but my yansh is not stepping outside unless I smell the smoke. And when I say smoke, I don't mean the gaseous by products of these American students trying to burn...sorry, cook chicken. Come to think of it, where is my Naija pali? And my I-20?
2. I have a project due and I am not yet done. The fire is going to have to come and drag my yansh from this chair right about now...nonsense!!!
Then, I realised that I can hear no voices in the hall way. So, it's either there is no fire or you guys are going to be reading about a bunch of roasted students in DC.