Omodudu: come in
Unnaked: Excuse me senior, please I am looking for Senior Fineboy.
Omodudu: Fine Boy!!!
Fine Boy: Mmn-hmn?
Omodudu: Person dey fyne u
Fine Boy: Yes?
Unnaked: Excuse me senior...
Unnaked: Senior Baba Alaye said I should call you.
Fine Boy: Say what?
Unnaked:I said Seni...
FineBoy: I heard you. What does he want?
Unnaked: I did not ask him senior.
FineBoy: Where is he?
Unnaked: At the back of Senior Rec
FineBoy: okay, go and tell him you did not see me in class but that you left a message.
FineBoy: Are you deaf?
Unnaked: No senior
FineBoy: now get out.
Unnaked: yes senior. thank you senior.
(Unnaked exits hurriedly)
Omodudu: what was that all about?
FineBoy: I am finished!
Omodudu: Why, what happened?
FineBoy: The fada wants me
Omodudu: uh, u mean Baba Alaye?
FineBoy: (looks at him in an are-u-serious? way) who else?
Omodudu: dang, what are u going to do?
FineBoy: Omo, I have been posting the guy since yesterday. he has been looking for me.
Omodudu: Please don't tell me, it's what I think it is...
FineBoy: Please don't lecture me
Omodudu: Did we not warn you about Taurean Minx. By the way, it is Senior Taurean Minx. Why don't you ever know your levels?
FineBoy: abeg, make I hear word.
Omodudu:so what are you going to do now
FineBoy: well, as long as I can help it, he won't be seeing me.
Omodudu: I think say u be bad guy? Why u no go show am say you get liver? after all, no be u talk say e no fit do u anything for this campus
FineBoy: u know what? watch me walk away
Omodudu: And go where? U think he does not know u are here? This is going to be interesting.
Yosh: My Guy, why are u sitting on the floor
Waffarian: no mind am. what is that u are eating. he is hiding from Baba Alaye
FineBoy: Waffy, I am not in the mood. Don't annoy me
9ja Opeke: how u no go get mouth for woman? u no fit follow the person wey dey disturb you hala, u con dey here, dey make noise
Toyintomato: Hy steel ave spyzee steek meat? FineBoy, why hare u hon d floor?
Yosh: Apparently Baba Alaye is looking for him
Toyintomato: O ti o
Atutupoyoyo: Iyawo, where is my stick meat now?
Toyintomato: Hah!!! the owner hof the money hon my head. Hy ham comeeng o
Atutupoyo: oya o. Haba, my guy, are you still here? What are you going to tell Mrs Somebody when she comes into class and sees you sitting there? How long are you going to be on the floor.
9ja Opeke: Abeg, leave him o. me I want to see how this one will end. Baba Alaye has been sending juniors here every thirty minutes to call him.
Waffarian: And it is no coincidence that so many seniors have been passing round here. The gist has spread that Baba Alaye is out for this guy
Omodudu: (Arriving) I guess Fine Boy is about to be unfine.
Yosh: wetin dey do u sef?
9ja Opeke: dis one na original thriller. I wan die. Yosh, wetin dey your hand
Yosh: guguru, u want some?
Jaja:(arriving) make u no break your neck as you dey eye im food
9ja Opeke: Solomonsydelle!!! Come carry your husband before I wound am o
Solomonsydelle: (from the other side of class) Go0d forbid o. Opeke mind yasef o
Omodudu: wait let me guess...you are looking for someone.
Teediva: Yes senior...Senior Fine...
Omodudu: Fine Boy is indisposed.
Omodudu: Go and tell senior Baba Alaye that he is not around
Teediva: No, I was sent by Senior Taurean Minx. She asked him to come
Yosh: heeeeyy, see your life. Na woman go kill you.
Teediva: Senior FineBoy?
Waffarian: look, junior girl did u not hear him say Fine Boy is not here?
Teediva: But he...?
9ja Opeke: u wan make I slap you, make your brain recharge?
Teediva: no...no...(hurriedly shakes head)
Waffarian: Oya marchalout, one time before I open my eye
Jaja: u girls are so cruel to one another. You could have delayed her here a bit
9ja Opeke: so u can be panting here like alsatian? abeg dress comot. Solomonsydelle...!!!
Solomonsydelle: If u say it, Opeke, we will fight today
9ja Opeke: yeye girl, why are u fronting. we all know...
Jaja: me, I am not there. u know she will brush you
Omodudu: heesh! we have a situation here. as u can see they are resorting to using Taurean Minx's name to catch him
Waffarian: and as he cannot live without woman, they will. See how he nearly followed that girl out of here. Oh boy, u dey craze?
FineBoy: (cradling his head) I don't even know how it is doing me now. I think I am running a temperature
9ja Opeke: mumu.
9ja Opeke: we are finished o...it is over. men
Waffarian: yeeee, my mother is going to kill me. expulsion. chei my life. Kpakpando, why? why?
Kpakpando: (looking on in stony silence)
Yosh: As I am looking at you now, u need to be glad I was raised not to hit a woman cos u deserve serious brushing
Overwhelmed: Please somebody, tell me what is going on? Men, how did I miss all the gist
Jaja: Kpakpando, I fear u o
Overwhelmed: Kpakpando, what did u do?
Solomonsydelle: this is simply unacceptable
Overwhelmed: who do I have to screw to find out what is going on here?
Yosh: Trust me overwhelmed, u don't want to know
Overwhelmed: but I do... father, lord. please somebody tell me.
(Omodudu and Ugo Daniel walk in)
Waffarian: how far?
Omodudu: (shakes his head)
Ugo D: we might have to go report to Mr. Laspapi. but guys, what were you thinking?
(Exschoolnerd walks in)
ExScNd: Kpakpando, u better hide cos if I set my eyes on you today, it will not be funny
Ugo D: calm down calm down
Kpakpando: (says not a word)
Jaja: this girl, u are on another level of spooky.
ExScNd: did u even think about all the things that could happen? did u think about anyone but yourself? U are special o
9ja Opeke: see how she is even looking like mumu
Kpakpando: watch it! don't think because I am silent...
Yosh: u better leave her alone before she has u shipped off to Ivory Coast
Omodudu: As it is, hasn't she already?
Overwhelmed: Okay, this is too much. Please! Please !! PLEASE!!!! Someone tell me what is going on
9ja Opeke: stop shouting. it is prep time
Ugo D: They tried to smuggle Fine Boy home in a ghana-must-go
Overwhelmed: Say what?!
Yosh: I thought we scrapped that idea in favour of the sick exeat that ExScNerd, ehm...procured.
Waffarian: We had to find a way to get him out of class and to the gate.
9ja Opeke: so we asked Baba Willy to carry the bag
Overwhelmed: Baba Willy, the gateman?
Solomonsydelle: we told him to keep the bag and we will come back and tell him which car to take the bag to.
Overwhelmed: please tell me this is a story. Fineboy was in the bag the whole time?
Yosh: Desperate times call for desperate measures
Overwhelmed: and what happened? how does Kpakpando factor into all this?
Waffarian: she went and told Baba Willy which car to put the ghana-must-go in
9ja Opeke: she was never in on the plan....how was she to know
Jaja: u know, I always fear quiet women. See how she is not speaking. She will just be watching and waiting. She had been waiting and waiting while FineBoy was using her to play ball and chasing after this female and that female
Waffarian: Kpakpando, love is not by force o
9ja Opeke: I guess even Fineboy crossed the line sef. How could he ask Kpankpando to go deliver the gifts to TaureanMinx.
Overwhelmed: Jisoz!!! Where have I been?
Jaja: me , I don't know
Solomonsydelle: u know Senior Nwanyi Ocha is her school mother and she is in the same class as Taurean Minx
Overwhelmed: so where is Fineboy
Ugo D: on the bread truck...
Yosh: possibly on his way to Ibadan or something
Waffarian: the worst part is that, no matter what, he will be discovered and brought back and of course that will create questions
Yosh: Cos there was no way the he could have carried himself in a ghana must go onto the truck
Omodudu: And Baba Willy said, the truck driver saw him load the truck but as usual assumed it was part of the returns
Overwhelmed: girl, how did u get Baba Willy to do it?
Kpakpando (with a wide smile) I gave him Willy Juice
(the entire group is silent)
ExScNd: U know what, I think I just wet myself. That was the scariest sight.
Jaja: is she smiling?
Yosh: I believe so. I think we might have a "case" on our hands.
Kpakpando: why are you all acting so silly? Nothing will happen to him
Ugo D: (voice struggling to be civil) U think so. U get a drunk security guard to put your classmate who is in a ghana-must-go on a bread truck...
ExScNd: How are we even sure it was the bread truck
Solomonsydelle: please don't scare me
Kpakpando: (chuckling) he will be fine. Someone has gone to get him
Waffarian: Girl, I am never speaking to you again. You did what?
Kpakpando: I got someone to go after him
9ja Opeke: and I love this school so much. so na like dis expulsion dey happen? I dey return go Abakaliki grammar school
Jaja: this nightmare will never end
Kpakpando: (rising to her feet abruptly and startling the group. They move back slightly) SHUT UP! EVERYONE SHUT UP! I have done nothing wrong. Just thought to have a little fun like he has been having with me all semester
Waffarian: is this all because he did not jah u face?
Kpakpando: I am over that. He thought he had a mugu abi, and all of u were always there to give him hype like toying with someone's emotions is fun...
Yosh: but what you have done is putting his life in danger and ours as well.
Ugo D: what will u say if something happens to him?
Kpakpando: like I said, nothing will
ExScNd: (in a whisper) please explain
Kpakpando: who can get out of the gates and back in and has access to a car?
Omodudu: Forgive me, if I cannot do riddles right now
Solomonsydelle: or I for that matter
Yosh: same here
Kpakpando: let's just say his ride back to school should be interesting
Somewhere in a car....
Olawunmi: Are you okay? Are you comfortable?
FineBoy: y...y....yes senior
Olawunmi: I am sure you are wondering why the head boy will come after you
Olawunmi: You know, since we are out, why don't we make this an experience you won't forget. I mean, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. How many of your friends can say that they bailed out with two seniors, one of whom was the head boy. ehn?
Olawunmi: Breathe...I am amazed you stayed in that bag so quietly. You are probably hungry. We will stop at a joint and you can enjoy some correct peppersoup. Tomorrow, we will discuss your punishment but tonight, u can relax. U are already in trouble so just ride the wave. Abi, my guy, what do we say we show our little man here a good time?
Baba Alaye: Sounds like a spectacular idea!!!/