I have been in bed for two days. Running a high fever.
I want my mummy.
Unnaked and then
Jaja, you can make me some correct peppersoup...
*sniff* *cough* *hackle*
And Laspapi, I need a good movie to watch
Then Overwhelmed will come and make noise and raise my temperature.
Because he lurves me so much, Yosh will put her out.
Kpakpando will stop by with some oyinbo type medicine that I will hide and pretend to swallow.
Toyintomato will come with conc-est agbo her grandmother could concoct.
Idemmili will bring me erotic reading material but she will not make it upstairs to my room because she would have bumped into Ubong Da and the tow would have disppeared.
Ugo D will send me a card.
Fatoumatta will call from SA and MTN will drop the line.
Unnaked and Atutu will go at it as each vies for a space at either side of my bed.
Yosh, will look up from his book, shake his head and tell them to be quiet.
Omodudu will stop by and tell me to get off my arse.
Fine Boy will not come until the whole thing has passed as he has abandoned blogville
Naija Politriks, Blogger General and UKNaija will get into it. Jeremy will stop by for a while and go off about the state of health care in the country.
After, I collect his Bournvita and Lucozade, I will ask Atutu and Unnaked to put him out.
They will happily oblige me.
Bibi wouldn't mind.
Waffarian will send me some peppersoup that Porter DeHarcourt will deliver...with six pieces of meat missing.
BabaAlaye will make sure that NEPA does not take light so that the air condition will cool my body.
Then I will cry cos usually that's how I reach the end of my illness. Everyone will freak out and think something serious is wrong.
My mother will hiss and direct Yosh and Atutu (cos Unnaked has gone to toast some chick) to carry me to the bathroom. They will drop me into the bath filled with cold water. i will scream and my mother will hold me down. Then I will be pulled out and cleaned and towelled dry.
By then, the bed has been remade and new teddy-bear patterned nighty presented.
My mummy helps me into them and gives me a new pair of yellow socks.
I am sniffling and telling her that when my daddy comes, I will tell him. I am going to report everybody and everyone is going to be sorry
Then everyone starts to leave one by one until...
only mummy remains.
I want my mummy...
and even though I love you guys to sege...
I want my mummy.