Maybe I should hold out. Maybe I should wait. But isn't that what I have been doing? Waiting?
Sometimes, it is so much easier to give in to those desires that hold court in your heart. Maybe, I am not that strong at all. Maybe there is nothing even spectacular about me at all. Maybe I am just a 23 year old woman trying to survive in an environment that is not realy equipped to accept her when she is at her best or at least striving to be so.
Maybe I am tired of wondering when my time will come. Maybe I am allowed a moment of weakness. Maybe I am not weak at all. Maybe in fact, letting go will be a true manifestation of my strength. Maybe I am just lazy. I mean, can I say that waiting this long is too long? Maybe I am just coming up with one excuse after the other.
Maybe I should just enjoy this. Maybe I deserve this. Maybe this is all I can handle at the moment. Maybe it might become something more. Maybe one day, I will cease to be 23 and he 35.