Saturday, September 20, 2008

You have 14 messages

"Hi, this is Tayo...and Lara...and Queen(hey girl!!!!) and we are just calling to say hi (Hiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!....where have you been?). Anyways, call us, no call me (what about me? Are you the only one with number?) okay. Toodles...."

Hi, this is me when you get this message.

Hi, this is Tayo. Haba! Ki lo n sele?

Omo, Queen here o. Where are you?

IB. This is your friend Lara. You know, the fine one. Not the other two. I am calling to make sure that you are still alive and speaking English. I will stop by your place tonight. Abeg open the door o...unless there is com-pah-nie...wink wink...anyways, laters.

Look here, IB, what is it? where are you. Call me. Just in case you will say you don't know...It's Tayo.

Girl, please call me. I am worried.
It's me, Lara.

Girl, I just heard. I am so sorry. Where are you?

IB please where are you. I know you are getting this message. Please call me. I have been to the house and you are not there. Please let me know. It is not the end of the world. It is Queen o. Me. Queen. Please talk to one of us. I know you don't like me but that is not....

I was just saying that that is not what is important. Call me, it is Queen.

IB it is me Tayo. This is not fair o. Are you trying to make my hair fall out with worry? Eleyi o da o.

You know what, just call me. I am tired of begging you. Ah-ah, what is it?Where are you? be hiding and shit. Oya, I am sorry. Call me. Tayo

Omo you are gangsta o. Chei...and see me worrying. Call me, it is Queen

Oloriburuku ni iwo omo yiii. me. It is Lara.

Delete messages?
Messages deleted.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Splenda-dly Useless

I felt I was coming down with something and so I raked together my last $2.05 and went to get myself a cup hot herbal tea from Starbucks. And when I say my last $2.05, I mean my last $2.05!!!! Anyways back to my story. By now you should know I am fitting to curse someone out.

Anyways, I get there, get my tea and proceed to what I like to call the "garnishing station" where you can make up your beverage any which way. I was about to reach for my old faithful, Domino Sugar pack, when I looked down and saw my encroaching gut and thought to myself "Cat, you need to get on this diet for real. I mean, in two years, you have gained a good twenty pounds and on 5'4", 170 pounds does not look good (I am not 170 pounds yet o...but if I am not careful) I turned to my right and looked for the alternative (I am sorry my diet isnot exclusive of sugar) and picked up SPLENDA! That oloriibu zero calorie sweetener piece of sege! That baba n la nonsense owo waster! That iranu, rada rada olorogbeske amunisowonu type mssssstssssthw!

Now, I am sitting here. My throat is still hurting funny. And I am watching my green tea vanilla thingy cool down to a BITTER!!!!!!!!! mix. The yeye thing made my tea bitter and now I cannot drink it. Nitori olorun, hen?!!!!!
I am so pissed. Mostly at myself becaue I should have known better. After all there was that incident in freshman year when....

*sigh* my throat is paining me. If I catch anyone that works at Splenda...walahi!!!

Sunday, September 07, 2008