Before you start, I will like to invite you to check this out. To the women, feel free to share your stories about that part of your anatomy that brings us joy, pain, confusion and comfort. And to the men, feel free to analyse that which your pursuit of defines your life's decisions.
Thank you for coming out to meet with me
Well, you sounded like it was very important to you that I did and so I am here
Thank you. It means alot to me and my girls that you are here
You're welcome. I still do not see what I am doing here.
I wanted to speak to you woman to woman.
I wanted to look into your eyes when I did that
I wanted to look into your eyes because I knew for some reason that they will not lie to me
I want to know why you will not leave my husband for me. Why you will not leave the father of my children and allow our family to be in peace. Why you don't think that a woman as beautiful as you or as intelligent and accomplished must take what does not belong to you...
*bursts into laughter* Oh my goodness....this is just too funny...you think he belongs to you? If he did, then why are you here?
I came to meet with you because not only did I want an explanation from you, I also wanted to beg you to leave him for me. Leave my husband alone.
*still laughing* Oh my God, this is the funniest thing I have heard all day. Can I just ask you what you do for a living?
I am sorry?
If we are talking woman to woman, may I ask you what you do with yourself all day?
I am a housewife. I would assume that you knew that.
I don't have to know anything about you. You are of no importance to me. My point is, if you had something better with your time, you will not have tracked me down- not that I was hiding- and made all the hulla-balloo about you needing to meet with you
I did not come here to fight with you
Really? Maybe my English is poor because just a minute ago you implied that I was desperate and deviant, bent on making you unhappy since I could not find some of my own.
For your information, your husband and I are no longer together. It ended more than two months ago. So, you either need to step up your investigating skills or start them again
What do you mean? I followed you...I checked his...
*shakes head* What for? What did you think you were going to get out of this? This conversation that you have expended nights and days on, planning what you will say, how you will confront me...did you plan the same for your husband? Because if you did not, then what do you think a talk with me will do?
Eyiwunmi...that is your name right? Why are you here? Think about your answer before you give it
I want to save my marriage
What do you mean "why"? Do you know what commitment is? Do you know what I have been through? Do you know about my children, what they have been through? Do you know how many years we have been married...?
How many years?
And you are here confronting your husband's ex lover for his infidelities instead of the culprit himself.
Have you no shame? Why would you go with another woman's man?
Because he belongs to no one but himself.
That man that you are running all over town for, greying your hair prematurely for, loves no one but himself. Do you think he loves you? Do you think he loved me or loves any of the others? And don't even look at me like you think I am the only one. You must have known for seventeen years that his dick does not dip into just one hole
I beg your...
Please!!! don't insult me with your feigned propriety. You and I both know that that man is useless. You know why it was over? In over ten years that I have lost my virginity, I have never contracted anything. I slept with that useless waste of oxygen...
that's my husband you are talking about
Uh...mumu. That idiot gave me the clap. Are you going to tell me that he has never given you anything? If so, then he has not been to you in a long, long, loooooooooooooooooooooooooong time and if that is the case, you know that he defintely does not belong to you
You are very rude...I did not come here to fight you
Look, since you said that you wanted to talk to me woman to woman, then I will talk to you woman to woman. I returned the advances of your husband because plain and simple, he offered them. I am thirty eight. I am not married and have never been. I run my own business and you know that I am not doing badly. Whilst this is no excuse, how many single men do you know that want to be with me. Men out there are either too old, married or both. And the younger ones want someone to upgrade them so they can chase after women their age or younger. I have needs. I too want companionship. I want affection. A connection. Dotun offered it to me, albeit in the position of a second wife and I was like, what the heck? What else do I have to loose? Society has written me off for being successful and single and childless. Men are intimidated by me. Maybe I will get some attention a couple of times a year...I mean, that beats nothing at allLook at the way you're talking. Are you listening to yourself? Do you believe the words that are coming out of your mouth?
What do you mean, do I believe what I am saying? Where do you want me to start from at thirty-eight? Or how different do you think you are from me when you are running around town accosting your husband's mistresses because you are afraid to confront him on his betrayals and/or walk away from the pain of them. I itched for three weeks and I had had it. You must have been itching for seventeen plus years and you sit here and judge me for being desperate.*laughs* are you looking at yourself?
I love my husband
Nobody said you should not love him. Question is, does he love you? Or even , are you in love with your husband or the idea of a husband?
This is not going the way I planned. This has been a waste of time
Has it? Pray tell, what did you expect? Did my agreeing to meet with you not indicate that it would not go as you expected. I can just see you now, puffed up in your righteousness, ready for battle. Probably, those careening fools you walked in, who are just itching to leave their table and bring their aproko legs here, are your back up amunition; in the event of a fight. I came alone and I will leave alone. It has been that way for years. I have been alone because I have refused continously to compromise my standards. I am not asking for too much to be loved and respected. For my body to be regarded seperately from my brain and not as a suntitute for it. For my work to be respected. For a child not to be the stamp of my womanhood. For a life in my own right.
Then why would you destroy my life? It was not perfect but it was mine. You mock my husband now that you have discarded him or he discarded you; whichever one is the truth, I am not concerned. But he is all I have. You chose your career and now you are lonely and sleeping with other people's husbands
And you chose marriage and family and you are here in a restaurant arguing with your husband's mistress. I am not sure I see how your life is better. My point is, I have walked away from your husband and my temporary lapse in judgement. I have my work and great friends to fall back on. I pray that in my lifetime, I find someone to love me. I am a good person and I have tried to do good in my life. But I am human and I have a human woman's needs.
*pauses...in thought* I do not know what to say
I will say that I am sorry. I am sorry that you have been hurt by my actions. I am just like you, trying to find my happiness in anyway possible. I looked through the wrong door and saw someone else's life and thought it could be mine. I am sorry. But I am not the only one responsible and no longer responsible
I know you are not
Then why did you come to me?
Because you are the only one to have walked away from him.
*sits back, hand on chin* And you thought I would show you how to do the same?
Maybe. I am confused. And tired.
Today is so much more interesting than I imagined. How many others have you met?
You are the only one
Why do you stay?
He always comes back to me. And he never really leaves. He is there in the morning when I wake up. His daughters have never had to ask me where their father is. He is loving and caring towards me and when he comes to my bed, it is like he sees only me. That he loves only me. Why am I not enough for him?
Because there are some dumb heiffers out there like me who will give to him what he should not have
Yes. No offence
I don't know why stay. It's like my medication to treat the after effects of his betrayals. I take them because I feel I don't have a choice
That cannot be healthy for you. Contracting diseases like that.
I miscarried five years ago. I did not even know that I was pregnant. I had an infection and lost the baby.
I am so sorry
It was not your fault. You see why, it is so hard for me to walk away? When I think of all I have sacrificed for this man?Did he ask you to?
Did he ask you to sacrifice for him?
It's what wives do.
Then I guess that's one of the reasons I am not married