Monday, March 17, 2008

As the world turns...

Mr. O, I have reviewed your application and I must say that I am very impressed.

Thank you ma. It's the grace of God that we have been doing this this long

I would surely hope so. I am sure you know that I have taken my time bringing you in for an interview. It's not about me being difficult. Alot is riding on this project and I need to know that whoever is given this portion will execute as demanded.

Ah, madam, that is all we are asking for, a chance to show you that we can do it. Give us even a small portion as a test and see for yourself. This is what we do. This is what we know how to do.

I already have.

I am sorry, ma, I don't follow...

Don't worry. I have already put you through a test and you did okay. This "ma, ma" issue, I would like to stop. I am younger than you are. You can call me Ms E if it helps but "madam" can be reserved for my mother.

As you wish ma...sorry. It is all out of respect.

Thank you very much.

Ah, it is nothing ma....sorry Ms E

*smiling and shaking head* I see it is going to take you a while to get it. Anyways, there is one little thing that I want to ask your help. You being older, I need to employ your wisdom.

Ah, it is God that is the wise one. But if it is anything that is within my power, ma ,I will do it.

Thank you. I just need your advice. I have asked other people too but I also got the nudge to ask you. After all, if you wish to work with me, we should be able to communicate.

Yes *nodding* I agree

See, there is this situation that I have found myself in. And it is not a pleasant one at all

God forbid ma, what is it?

To this u have to apply your utmost discretion.

Of course, or course....

Now, what do I do? One of the girls working here has come to tell me that one of our vendors that is applying for the show sexually assaulted her in the past and now, after such a horrible experience, she has to come here and face the person. Now, this man has the best credentials ofthe group and yet there is this. ehn? sir, what do you say?

Haba! I say, how do you know she is telling the truth?

Thank you! I knew you have a brilliance to you

Thank you

No, no, it is true. Yes, I asked myself that too. So I sent a young girl to him to ask for a job as this employee of mine said happened and low and behold, this man told her that the only way she can get a job with him is if she plays ball.

As per?

Ah-aaaah, Mr.O, what else can a man be asking for?

Aaah! That is bad o.

Yes o. That is my dilema because based on his qualifications and all, I know he and his outfit will do the job like we want but how can I allow such a man like that near my person?

I think you should not. I mean, you are surrounded by so many young girls that you have to keep safe. These are people's daughters. I have two of my own.

E so be ee...and since then, I have met about three girls who have said the same thing and one who used to work for him and said that he used to try and corner her in the office when others were not around.



This is serious o. I will say that you call him and explain your findings so that he can know that his wrong ways have caught up with him.

Thank you. I have decided that as well. *reaching for the phone* please excuse me, let me quickly set up a meeting.

Oh, please no problem

*into the phone* Mary, please come in with Tega. *to the man* I know you said earlier that you would not have anything, are you sure?

Oh no, no, ma, I am fine.

No problem. well, now that I have that sorted out, do you have your quote ready for me to review?

Oh yes, *reaching into bag and pulling out a folder* here it is...and we even introduced a discount, being our first time working with you and all.

oh, thanks alot. let me just go through the logistics of it.

(door opens and two women walk in)
Mary: Good afternoon sir. Ms E?


Ms E: Mr. O, do you recognise either of these ladies?

I see, so between yesterday and today you have forgotten the "sweet yellow girl"? *pointing at Tega*

I don't know what you are talking about. I don't understand

Oh, I see *pulling out a tape recorder and pressing play. the man's face contorts as his voice fills the room* so you see, I did put you through a test. and you did as I expected.

Ma, ma...


Ah, ah, aaaaaah, it was a set up.

was it? was it a set up when it was my time?

your time? i never....

How will you remember? Fool. You need to really have God in your life. You forget when you do the shit you do that one day, the roles might be reversed. You have been doing this job for the ten, fifteen years since we met and yet you have not risen above where I last met you. Now, look at you now, I have in front of me the documents to help you cross that boundary and you don't even remember how when you had the same power in your hands to help me, you gave me the option of sleeping with you. Thank God, I walked away so that now I can show you this aso inule rada rada, ikeji aja, that I did it all with his grace despite the devil's instruments like yourself placed in my path.


I will slap you o. I am going to make sure that you never do business in this town again because as long as you do business, you will have money and you will think u are above the law


I see you cannot even argue. You have messed yourself up so much that you don't even remember. tsk tsk tsk. oya, tell me what do I do? One call and not only will this door be closed but every door in this country and best believe me, I can do it. Mr O, what do you want me to do ?


Jinta said...

mmm, ms e, is this vindictiveness? is it in naija? you know it happens every day there. my instinct teaches the man a lesson, yet a part of me screams that he becomes nothing if he cannot work

bumight said...

men! this is gangsta!!!
@Jinta: of course its in naija.

I love love this. sorry, *feminist alert*
serves him right!

Naapali said...

Nollywood here comes catwalq

יש (Yosh) said...

*sighs, these things happen. Nice plot.

Emmm, when do u have time to come up with these things, amidst all your rugged schedules?

Kudos...and *muah

Isi said...

its is demeaning to reduce a woman's 'career worth' to something as flippant as sexual proposition...the whole 'carrot dangling' thingy is so annoying!

serves the fool right!

Anonymous said...

wahala dey... haha

InCogNaija said...

Karma is a Biatch!!!
his speechlessness is hilarious tho, and the girl sef, "aso inule rada rada ikeji aja"

Vera Ezimora said...

Oh that's just sad. Sad, sad, sad.

Afrobabe said...

Wish they could all pay, unfortunately loads of men get away with that crap...

Mocha said...

If only life's laws worked as swiftly..

Olamild said...

I love this

Give us more of it
Revenge can be sweet

Allied said...

Aso inule ni loto.... but i wish she does not go to the extent of making him into nothing...

He will learn the hard way but the judgement is not with her..


oooh, i liked this. I felt I was watching some Naija film. lol!

How far?


Jaycee said...


I'm dying to know what his response was at the end. See the way he was 'preaching' as if he wasn't the one being talked abt. That's how a lot of people go abt speaking evil of bad men, meanwhile they are only ravenous wolves in sheeps''s good not to judge others at all times. If one is really good, then the 'goodness' will speak for itself!

I liked this story, there's a deep lesson within...(thanks Catwalq).

Ms. Catwalq said...

jinta: of course it is in naija. and it is one of my fantasies that one day, a one very famous Mr O who misbehaved during my job interview will be on the other end of my table and I will tell him to kiss my arse. who cares if he becomes nothing? how do we know he became something by hardwork?

Bumight: feminist alert? maybe not but I was really pissed when I wrote it.

Naapali: Yes o. Like you know where I am working myself up to

Yosh: where have u been? nitori olorun! where...what...?

isi: my kind of gal

ofawelm: baby( picture the rich igbo accented voice of Donatus) whoozzzuppppu!!!

incognaija: i wanted to say "eyan lasan lasan, ikeji aja, aso inule" so I abbreviated....

Vera: o su mi o. I don tire

afrobabe: yep! but one day, one day!!!!

mocha: then a whole lot of people will be dead or worse...

olamild: do i sense a vindictive streak in thou, o dear friend?

allied: yeah I guess so, but one can still hope for the day when you can brush your oppressors. What I would give to take a branch to some of our politicians...

Inlaw mi/ iya oko: i dey is my husband ehn? I am working on my naija movie script. I am going to call it, "egba" or "cane". so many people need it.

Jaycee: they are the ones that make the most noise

Uzezi said...

One day, all this men will pay. we need a super woman to fly and handle men like this.

Andy said...

I was scared when I saw "signing out". Thot you were leaving blogville, bu thank God sha!
Naughty CQ!!!

Oracle said...

Did this really happen?

The guy really got paid back. He must feel very stupid.

Lighty said...

karma karma karma.
wot goes around comes arounds goes around and comes all the way back.

eFJay said...

I knew whn she was asking 4 his advice that the man she was talking about was him! lol!
My best part is when she calls him ikeji aja!LOL
Nice one!

'ef babe'

Queen of My Castle said...

I second Naapali. You are so creative. I surely pray that your dreams on the movie industry come to pass. You are an amazing talent. I wonder why he doesn't remember, though