Thursday, October 06, 2005

My goodness!
What a week and a half i have had.
We sorted through the Mr.Lecturer shit. 'She' still went. i am beginning to think she did not actually mind in the beginning because come to think of it, she really was not as bothered as we her friends were. she told me that 'it'wasn't that bad. EUGH!!!!!!!
Back to me....
My weekend was the stuff of least if you have a 'boyfriend' who drops in suddenly on you whilst you are tied up with your summer ex- fling.
There was a party and some lag boys came. In fact, alot of them came. one of the club chapters in Ife was throwing its own party and thus alot students from lagos came down in droves for the party. three artists performed. Was nice... Chinedu came with one of his current flings.
When I saw him, we greeted like old buddies but i could feel something in the slight squeeze of his hug. the party which was actually a coalition of about three different parties was off the hook. too many people and waaaayyyy too much alcohol. And every girl there was trying to show as much of their 'assets' without being slutty. Let's just say some were successful whilst others...well....did not quite get the drift of why clothes were invented. i will not name names but eh-ehm...Idia room 306 and moremi's D211, C298, F372, G211,A122,A231,A167.... the list is too long and besides, i do not know everyone's room number.
I went outside to catch some air as some of the guys we were rolling with had become one with their drinks. Eugh! I saw Chinedu hanging with some of his guys while his 'girlfriend' was HANGING off his arm, pretending not to notice that he was openly checking other girls out and even talking to them Some girls amaze me with their inability or reluctance to see that they mean only as much to these guys as their next lay. Touche. Anyways, i saw him and he saw and we made eye contact. we used to have our little codes that we used when we were with our group of friends to signal that we should both get waya and meet up somewhere. He would touch his left brow and I would rub my lips together as if i had just applied gloss or lipstick. i did that because it also indicated to him what kind of meeting I was in the mood for. This time, I didn't do anything when he touched his brow, I simply nodded and began to walk towards where the cars where parked. i did not see him follow me as i walked but i kept moving away from where the lights from the building could discern my figure or face. I was momentarily startled when I heard a sound from a car, it was the muffled sounds of a couple. i laughed softly to myself as i walked away because i knew fully well what they were up to. i nearly jumped out of my skin when a hand closed over my mouth. It was the silly Chinedu, he had been walking parallel to me the whole time and because i had been expecting him to be behind me, i hadn't seen him.
I pushed him away and swatted his hand.
"what is wrong with you? scaring me like that?"
He looked almost contrite,
"I am sorry."
My heart was still racing but as i looked at him in his oh-so-good shirt and dark jeans over dress shoes, my heart was taking on another rhythm. i remember asking myself why i reacted t him like this and why i was content with this hide and seek game we played.
"you look smashing tonight...knew I was coming?" he said brushing a knuckle over my upper arms. I huffed at his nerve and cocked an eyebrow,
"Say what? You? i barely remembered your name." i replied, trying to be cocky. i actually hadn't known he would be coming but i was glad i had tried extra hard on my look...I even wore white, he had said he liked me in white.
He stepped forward,
"well, I knew i was coming and that i was going to see you so i made sure i had my good shoes..." he said against my hair. he is at least two feet taller that i am and with heels, I still get up to just below his chin. I looked at his feet to try and take my mind off the scent of him and how it completely filled my senses. I remember once telling him how much i curse whoever designed tims after one guy nearly crushed my toes with his at a club. Chinedu's were shiny black..Italian I think.
He reached out and pulled me into his arms and I went quietly.
"i missed you, you know. I wanted to talk to you when that your SU aunty was around that day, but you know..."
I did indeed know. Once, when chinedu's mom had been around and she had come to visit, she had unwittingly confided some things about his behaviour to my mum and aunty SU had been there and she had embarked on a deliverance session on the then seventeen year old Chinedu. I knew it had taken all of his upbringing and will power not to walk out on her unending prayer for his soul. I did not want to think about that. he was here and i was in his arms.
I reached behind him and playfully grabbed his butt. I love his butt, especially without clothes on them. he chuckled, a sound that rumbled against my ears, and rocked me. I pulled away and led him to the boot of a car indicating i wanted to seat. as much as i loved being in his arms, i had been in heels for over four hours and i am not such a magician that i do not feel pain in my heel. He lifted me on to the car and moved between my legs. We did not speak. He rested his head against my bosom and I just loved the feel of him. i held him.
Somewhere in the mix of talking, we began to make out. It was slow at first like me were trying to remember and recollect what we used to taste like. Then, we sort of lost control. Kissing Chinedu is like drinking wine. you have to savour each one and drink deeply. then as you get heady, you try as much as possible to gulp it down. I also love his hands, he does not paw or grope....but gently feels you and guides you into him.
We had to pull apart because if we hadn't we would have gone too far right there and then.
"Where are you staying tonight?" i asked
"with you?" he said
"What about all those girls you came with, especially the one that has attached herself to your hand."
"My guys will organize her."
I chuckled imagining what would be going on in the girl's mind when the party was over and she searched high and low for him with no sign of his whereabouts. i wondered if one day, he would do the same to me. i mean, here I am allowing a secret exual relationship to continue.
"friends with benefits." we called ourselves but I knew that deep inside, what we did menat much more to me. i pulled away.
"What is it?"
I looked into his eyes, they seemed troubled. i couldn't be sure. i had seen him put on that same look just before he discarded of some female to sneak upstairs to his room with me or who ever was there.
"One day," I said slowly, "I might be in her shoes." i nudged my head in the direction of the party, indicating the girl.
"Or one day, i will be in Ibinabo's shoes." He said simply, then shook his head, "Heck, I am already in his shoes. He moved to the side, "you were the one that said we should keep it secret.'
I remembered. it was indeed me. And I know why I said that. i looked at Chinedu, he was looking at his feet, his hands had been balled into fists and shoved into his pockets. He was angry and I did not know why. I didn't want that. I stepped behind him and embraced him. I felt his angry stiffness disipate into a sigh. It sounded weary, like he was tired and had no choice but to give what? He turned to look at me,
"You do not understand...You don't know..."
I was confused. He always spoke to me in short sentences, like there was a great thought and calculation into his choice of words.
"What?" i asked him.
He kissed me.
i don't remeber much after that. Like how we got to my room in the boys quarters or what we must have said to each other on the way. Maybe we walked in silence, holding hands but then again, maybe not. Maybe we talked about school, family, the business deals he was always chasing after but again, maybe we did not.
We spent the night together. It was beautiful.
Then at nine the next morning, Amara, my neighbour came to knock on my door, rousing me from sleep to tell me that Ibinabo was around and trying to find parking space that was as close as possible to the house.
I spoke to her through a crack in the door and turned to look at Chinedu. He was still asleep. i don't ever like to wake him. He looks peaceful in his sleep. We are both stark naked. Infront of him, I am not concerned about my stretchmarks or that i might not have an ironing board for a belly. He tells me I am beautiful. I like to hear that.
I wake him up. He smiles and reaches a hand for me to pull me to him. his eyes are sleepy but happy. I chuckle an smack his hands away.
"get up" I tell him, "Ibinabo is here."
chinedu's smile disappears and his eyes awake to a hardening.


Sam said...

Hey there catawalq,

There was no other way to reach you so I am leaving a comment.

I wanted to thank you for your insightful comment that you left on my blog (

After reading your blog I see you have a wide range of issues you have written about (my kudos).

The post on the blog was a copy of an article that was written for Bucks County Courier Times- a newspaper outside of Philadelphia. We have a "backtalk" column that features letters and email that readers send in with their thoughts. With your permission, would it be okay to copy your comment and post in the newspaper?

If you’re not comfortable with that, it's cool- but if it's alright, would you please drop me a line at

thank you!


Rayo said...

Damn! That was hot. Does he have any brothers?

Nneka's World said...

Real hot and cant wait for the rest.

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