Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The things my eyes have seen.


Ok so, I told him I liked to be spanked. That's how this overzealous morrafohka delivered a blow to my backside that sent my left leg into spasms.

WTH!!!!In reflex, I swung my hand around to deliver a slap that would remind him where he was. I missed and nearly shattered my wrist on the bed post.

Luckily I did not break it. If not for how long it had been since the last time and I was not sure of my next installment, I would have ignored his begging and left. But you know how it is...I sha decided to continue.

That is how this odaran dropped his trosizz. If you see what I saw, you will not be sitting there asking me why I am avoiding the were. I was just looking at him. I could not believe my eyes.
What was I supposed to do with it? It is not like I said I have a rat problem and that he should come with a kondo, that he now produced the thing he wanted to use to kill me for my mother.

I told him "you better divide it into two and keep one for yourself and I will see what I can do with the other half."

What? You thought I would let him go away with that thing? Men, God forbid. Even God would have vexed for letting such a good thing go to waste.

And it was a good thing.

See, I have been walking sideways for three days.

55 comments:

bumight said...

eiya! actually LMAO!!!
so much for spanking. I thought they said size matters abi bee ko?

darkelcee said...

lollllll

pele!

Aijay said...

LMAO!!!

Carlang said...

Darn it.

So now there are two of us out there....

Carlang said...

Darn it.

So now there are two of us out there....

Jeff Corbin said...

LOL!!!

Now tha ain't right...just made me realise how...large mine is...right...large!

Good one!!

Queen of My Castle said...

LMFAO @ walking sideways!!!!!! Poor thing...or should that be lucky bastard? LOL

Lighty said...

hahahahahahahahahahah. lololololol.
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaa. lol.

ok ok let me calm down. it is obvious the kondo has left u twisting when walking. so am not even gonna ask.

at least it turned out a good thing.

naijalines said...

Hehehe, wetin dey happen for blogville this week? Everybody dey sugarcane crazy? 'Shame I no fit join all the naughtyness cos Ore (my son) dey always come my blog.

Lol @ walking sideways. Enjoy... no pleasure without pain, abi.

Abeg, spray (or is it blow?) some of the lucky 'thickness' afrobabe's way.

ibilola said...

CATWALQ O!!!! Abeg don kill me, jare! My oga is looking @ me like i'm mad... i just fell off the chair wit laughter
Well done o!

guerreiranigeriana said...

*stands up and applauds*...i love em big!!...and they seem to love me too o!!...you should videotape this your sideways walk...see how you are tormenting me...i should not have read this your post right this moment...oh well, inspiration for the weekend;)...

...lol @ carlang...oh yeah?!...produce foto o!!...catwalq and i can judge...

Nwanyi Ocha said...

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

MS CATWALQ OHHHH - NO KILL ME FOR MY MAMA ABEG! LOLOLOLOL

WALKING SIDEWAY'S - HUN WE PREFER THE TERM DELAYED SWAGGER! LOLOLOL

GET SOME "SOLO" BED REST! LOLOL NDO!

classybabe said...

Lol@walking sideways

36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS said...

ha ha whats this now??? is it dat it is only me dat is not chooking/gbenshing/kpanshing/doing. whatever word ticlkles ur fancy??? every blog dat i have read today has. u ppl should takireasy na!!! some of us are jealous jo...... lol

Pink-satin said...

this is mad funny!tew funny

soupasexy said...

ROFLMAO! gurllllllll ur crazy, but i likey!

@carlang, hmm u sure?

dont worry, walking sideways is a good thing.it's an evidence of good living. can u share?..lol

gishungwa said...

You just made my day. Muhahahaha

Adekunle Shobowale said...

Whoa! Grown folks talk.
I'll come back later when ya'll are finished.

Chika said...

CATWALQ NOW WALIKING SIDEWAYS....LOL.URE SUCH A NUT CASE.

Unbiased said...

Catwalq you are absolutely bonkers is all i can say!!

fluffycutething said...

LMAO... are you for real?????????

Orisirisi

geisha said...

i see you embraced both sides of the stick in the end :P

so, what with the temporary handicap and the good thing that God would have punished u for had u let it go to waste, are you still avoiding the were?

Mocha said...

ROFLMAO!!!
That was TOO funny!!

"divide it in 2 and keep half for yourself.." thats hilarious..

Ndo..ice pack baby..

eFJay said...

Cough, cough! No comment! LOL
I have no words for you right now.

'ef babe'

Ms. Catwalq said...

lol...I will pass on your comments to the lucky lady who was able to witness this...

ablackjamesbond said...

k...now i get the banana thg now.

pamela said...

LOL!!!!!!

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
!!

I think the spank should have been the first warning...

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

Catwalq, softly, softly o...

Anonymous said...

So, you a bit of a freaky lil' thang ain'tcha?


Well, now a freaky lil' thang with bracket legs! Hahahaha!

Ide.

Bookie19 said...

ROTFLMAO..THis is too funny...I guess no pain no gain..Pele..u will be just fine

Zena said...

and afrobabe hasn't commented yet?

lol, kpele ooh! lmao!

Allied said...

Did i just break my fast with what i read here?

Jinta said...

good thing you didn't break your wrist - there'd have been no hand jobs for him for a while

Zephi Fahrenheit said...

LMAO LMAO LMAO..
i am dying here of laughter...
is this one of your stories or is this based on a true life story of yours...omg


lmao lmao...pls walk straight before you bump your head on the wall..

Ms. Catwalq said...

I am amazed that only Zephi saw it the way it is....

NikkiSab said...

U r hilarious!!!!! How is d walk now, u straight? lol.. sorry dear.

Jarrai said...

LOL, LOL!!!!
You too, you saw it and still agreed!. See now, you are paying by walking sideways, LMAO!!!!

The Last King Of Scotland said...

sideways walking catwalq, you have killed me.na you oh

Lighty said...

oya o madam we're waiting for academy. i dont know how many times i have been here to take a look see if it's up.

update kittykat. abeg.

UnNaked Soul said...

ROTFLMAO!!!

She's back!!!!!
LMAO!!! @ walking side ways!!! what is crab in yoruba sef? akon?

Charizard said...

buahahahahha!!!!

Sideways!!! hahahaha....

naijalines said...

BTW Ms Catwalq, you've been tagged! See my latest post for further details.

Tears said...

ROFLMFAOOO!! so was it the spanking that caused the side walking or....LOL!

TinTin said...

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DIVIDE??? LOL

PLS PLS I BED UNA...DONT KILL ME WITH ALL THIS LAUGHING!

Smaragd said...

*rolling my eyes* @ Carlang

"...kill me for my mother"and everything else... lol

Catwalq, are u sure u are 23? cuz u write like u are older!

N.I.M.M.O said...

Dang!

First I saw the bananas, I knew Ms. Catwalq was going to deliver something different.

Cat, if you write most (all)of your stories in first person, people may not be able to separate the writer from the character after some time. You simply become the story.

As usual sha, a beautiful story. You no dey ever disappoint.

How you dey?

teecity said...

m still crying from laughing so hard......God i no blame u at all.had to read it like 3x n pple just didnt understand wat i was goin on abt.n do ehen?

exschoolnerd said...

this was too funny..u r a wereh....

Moody Crab said...

I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!! ILOVE YOU!!!

Gosh, I laughed so much I cried. You are FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!!!

RJ said...

LOL!....No pain no gain right??You'ld be fine in a few days hun, trust me.

theicequeen said...

L.M.A.O..you for "blow" am well, remove teeth and all :D...

and see what long throat causes? after your sermon of take half, gimme half, long throat made you collect all...rotflmao..walking sideways..lol!

lurv your blogggggg...

InCogNaija said...

too much!! i missed coming around here but i am back!

twentyseven twentyfive said...

LMAO.

Large is good....if used well.

almost fell out of my chair at nwanyi ocha's "Delayed swagger" comment.

Thanks for stopping by.

Supergirl said...

Ahhh, you are bold o to still venture. Good thing it was a "goodthing" sha

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!!!
Catwalq u no dey try o! You wan make dem sack me today wit all dis lafta! And 'delayed swagger'! thats a classic right there...