Woke up barely twenty minutes into my sleep to the sound of bullets. My heart flew in my mouth as I uttered a quick prayer before pulling back my curtains to see what was going on. My room faced the parking lot, the origin of the sound, and I looked out just in time to see some young men pile into a silver car and speed off leaving the owner of the white car they had just vandalised and possibly pumped bullets into screaming curses.
I am sure his losses were painful but I think I'd be more grateful that the bullets hit the floor and not me. I was glad, that the bullets had not gone ricocheting off God-knows-what and through my window. It had been a hot night and since my bed is against the window, I had simply propped my pillow on the sill to get some cool breeze.
I tried to go to back to sleep, congratulating myself for having remembered to do my Spiritual exercises before the drama went down and was sad to find that sleep had fled leaving my exhausted form strangely alert.
I began to think of everything unpleasant that I was experiencing. My English teacher is lying in intensive care fighting for her life. A woman in her eighties, things are not looking good. I had had no idea she was that old. This is my second English teacher to go through something. The first one, Gary Cooper died in my second year and we were close to. I am sad but know that God is in control.
Alot of things are happening to me that are leaving me exhausted, frustrated and confused. It has been so long a struggle seeking a solution. I am so disheartened. I think I might have to take the counselling office on their offer of free consultations because something tells me that this constant change of moods from extremely upbeat and lively to deeply brooding and retreating is not healthy. I am eating more than I should and I only do that when I am stressed and/or depressed.
It might just be the aftermath of a shoot out that is leaving me melancholy. I will return to bed and seek some sleep. I hope it has returned to me.