Just talking

You need to be careful how you say things, lest people perceive you to be cold.

Why do you say that?

I am just saying...you don't know how unfeeling you sometimes sound?

Because I refuse to join you in commiserating over pain? I am sorry that I am neither amused nor interested in that kind of bullshit...

There you go again...

I speak my mind, m'dear

Sometimes, you don't need to. Would it kill you to simply offer a kind word, now and then?

If this has to do with Caroline, them I am sorry, no.

This is not just about Caroline. It's everyone. It's me. It's everyone other than yourself.

Look, I am not going to lie to you and you know it. The reason you tell me things is not because I will always agree with you but because you know, I will approach the situation from a detached point of view. You already know what you are supposed to do, yet you want someone to validate what you have chosen to do.

You are missing my point...

No, you are missing mine. You have been lamenting how your boss has been making advances towards you. Yet, I don't hear you choosing to either call him out or request a transfer to another account. The truth is that, you have decided to give in. Even when you know that he is married. Caroline will tell you that it is not that bad...afterall, did he not say that he and his wife are having trouble? I will tell you, "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" And I am the one who is the bad guy? I think you don't want the truth. Now, I am pissed.

It's complicated.

Actually, it isn't. Like me, you have not been in a quality relationship for a while. You are lonely and your judgement is shut. Now, you are considering married men. And like Caroline who remains in her useless marriage, you are screwing yourself over.

You think you have all the answers? I don't see your life being perfect?

I never said that it was. I face up to that fact and I manage it daily. I don't expect that you as my friend will like to me and tell me that it is or expect me to do the same with you.

This is what I don't like about you. You think you are so superior to everyone else. Like you are the only strong one and everyone is weak.

I never said that.

That is how you act, that is why no one really likes you

*laughing*

That's not news. I have never been the most liked but I know damn well that I am respected. Like that shit that Caroline pulled yesterday, do you think she would have dared to do that with me? Never. You are the one always allowing yourself to be used...all because you want to please her and say the right thing, and be kind and considerate.....and what's the word...warm?

Caroline is our friend

No, she is yours. She needed a handbag and she found one in you. Why is it that she never can go where she wants to go by herself and why do you always have to look like twins? Can she not do anything by herself?

What is so wrong about wanting to be part of a team? You are talking like you don't also join us sometimes...

I do, when it strikes my fancy. I don't make a habit of it. You already said you did not want to wear that dress. Caroline shows up and the next thing, you are sitting by quietly as she rubbishes your wardrobe choice and makes you wear the exact replica of what she is putting on and for what? So that the two of you looked like ridiculous pretentious folk at the party. The invite said casual. Even if you wanted to wear "native" you could have worn one of your shorter ankara[1] dresses and looked chic. Instead, you swathed yourself in iro[2] and buba[3], aging yourself twenty years and then upset that the only men that spoke to you were your father's age mates. What were they supposed to think? I nearly died from laughter when Banji bowed to you and said 'ma'. The guy is five years older than you...

It's not funny

Whose fault is that? Everyone was in denim, on the dance floor. You came in lace iro and buba and a satellite dish for a head tie not being able to dance. Did you think that Molara was throwing an "owambe"[4] party?

Thank you for your kind insights.

Anytime girl. You know I've got you. next time, you want to be a "big girl" like Caroline. Let me know, I will come armed with my camera again.

So you are not taking the pictures off facebook?

What the hell for? Aren't you interested in the comments? Here's one "Is that Fatou or her mother?"....hahahahahaha....that one is priceless. Kweile is such a naughty girl...i should call her for that.

So even after I have begged you, you won't take the picture off?

Look, even if I do, there are other pictures of you from the party. Are you going to call everyone and ask them to take them off?

Are you going to take them off or not?

Fine, I will...how am I going to get my forty two comments back? You guys are the talk of the bash...

Sometimes, you are so insensitive, it is amazing that you have any friends. It's not like you are skinny or something.

I am not and never was. I just dress my age.

I am 36. Iro and buba is appropriate for my age.

But inappropriate for that particular occassion. It was not the fact that you went traditional. It is that you went off-tangent traditional. I mean, all the guys had naija shirts now...but they put them on slacks. Those with ankara paired them with other monochromatic fabrics and even those who had scarves, had soft scarves....not gele[5] that nearly got knocked off by the fan...

I could not believe that you were laughing at me like that

You know me I would laugh to your face...when i did not send you message...

*sigh* I don't even know why we are friends...

Well, such is life. Like the day, I had that immensely bright idea to go cycling in the park, who could I call but you when I rode myself into the pond?

and the silly part is that you have not gotten rid of the bicycle knowing fully well you don't know how to ride it...

hehehehe...persistence my dear. In about fifteen years, I should be able to do the cycling marathon

fifteen years? only?

don't mock me o...

I am not mocking you...I am laughing at you....you are going to need alot of dusting powder for your chaffed thighs...

se you will come and cheer me on. You can wear "gele" and lace to the race
'
you are an agbaya[6]



1. ankara: african print fabric
2. iro: woman's wrapper
3. buba: woman's blouse
4. owambe: traditional party of ostentatiousness...
5. Gele: Yoruba woman's head tie
6. Agbaya: big for nothing