Monday, July 14, 2008

Razzness is an art...

I am razz. And proudly so.

I speak my mother tongue, read and write it well.

I can transition between the crudest of accents and hold a convo in pidgin.

I love that I can balance a tray on my head and roll up a scarf to support it.

I always gather the folds of my bubu under my pits and tilt my head tie to the side.

I can dance the yahoozee, galala and s-wooo very well

I have thighs strengthened from gripping to the sides of okada for long periods of time as well as....

I have a nose piercing

I snap my gum when i chew

I would rather eat at mama-put any day

I talk loudly all the time and I don't care...

I speak my mind as long as I know I can 1) handle the consequences, 2) I can beat up any one who objects and 3) my house is not too far if 1&2 don't apply

I sometimes go for lunch at Mama Beatrice, the woman who roasts corn, yam and plantains on my estate

I lace and gele is a necessity for every woman.

I wear huge costume gold jewelry

I have about three Alhajas in my family and they all sell fabric, have gold teeth, wear fake lashes and drink stout.

I am razz jare. No long thing.

39 comments:

bumight said...

razzo! u almost make it sound cool!

EDNUTEY said...

"I have about three Alhajas in my family and they all sell fabric, have gold teeth, wear fake lashes and drink stout."

LOL!!!

Nice post..that's what makes you YOU!
Nothing do u jare!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling this... no long thing

ShonaVixen said...

i agree with bumight!you made it sound cool oh

Naapali said...

Cheers to her catty razzness!

Nigerian Drama Queen said...

Okay I have no idea what the 's-wooo' is. I definately need to brush up on all things razz when I come to Naij next...
Nothing do you jare. Razz is the new cool.

Chari said...

am razz like that with u jare...

Jaja said...

Razzness has become increasingly trendy. At some time in PH it was cool to mimick an Okrika, Igbo or Ikweree accent.

I was saying on Baroque's blog( he s also just said something about razzness) that it can be incredible cool and also quite terrible.

Being as wayward as I am, I pick up the most rotten of razzed things. But being a closet snob, am often mourning about the dearth of high soceity and properness. It may be true that my obvious, constant state of confusion makes me love people of your kind. :)

And why do I feel my Oga Dr Naapali, being of a certain class and social standing has no idea what this rant is all about. [ playing Gongo Aso in his car seems to be only how far he allows himself to go].

my sista, make be later links.

Jennifer A. said...

"I have about three Alhajas in my family and they all sell fabric, have gold teeth, wear fake lashes and drink stout.

I am razz jare. No long thing."


Ha ha ha ha ha!!!! ROTFL...abeg no long thing jo!

brap said...

@ Jaja you know i was thinking the same thing everyone wants to be hood or razz.

@ bumight Almost? lol

I'm an Area girl/Aje butter but mostly I tend to be a pretentious sophisticate and like Ms. Catty I've got no apologies.

Atutupoyoyo said...

The word razz has since been reclaimed by the masses. You, however, still retain the original meaning of the word and are as razz as they come. It is precisely because you can tie wrapper with a ferocity and tightness of knot that we love you so.

theicequeen said...

LOL!! razz is the new cool abi?? lol...standin under hot sun for boli on a regular basis, being able to do my propaaaa warri accent ( you people shud laff all you want ohhh, but tha thing can get you out of plenty gbese!) lol!

and knowing how to the the s-woo, galala and yahooze..ah, thats how you know you have "arrived"..:P

luv this post mehn, no long tin, nuffin do you...

exschoolnerd said...

i thought i was razz..but u my dear might have just taken my crown~~

Parakeet said...

Lol...very funny Catwalq...I have some razzness in me too!

guerreiranigeriana said...

...lol...great post...no long ting at all..

Anonymous said...

LMAO
Her Royal Razzness!!!
loving this post catwalq..
As a friend would say, "the realer the iller"

Candy

Unknown said...

LOL!

darkelcee said...

lolll

Just my thot jare.

I am very very razz too and no apologies on top!

Anonymous said...

lol i LOVe swoooo.. that song is fire.. lol love this post... im so stush i cant even stand it... lmao..

Anonymous said...

Razz purfect!

But nose piercing is not razz, that one is tush, now

Allied said...

Liek i keep saying

Razz is the new cool. We all need a little razziness to spice up life in the states abi...

Abeg do you jare...

But seriously - Gele is a burden

Adiba said...

Nice one...LOL @ 3)my house is not too far if 1&2 don't apply.

Afolabi said...

razz (that word, Lag peeps use for things Port Harcourt!)- Jaja might testify to this. Abeg, Catwalq (Your razzness, bows head) keep holdin the flag high...

Lighty 'neferet' Kopearl said...

i agree, u're too razz. lol!

ibiluv said...

kai u razz.........

and i follow u claim am......

my own lace alhajas pass 3.....i no even fit count them.....

razz is the newest cool........lol

Tairebabs said...

"I am razz jare. No long thing"...Abi o me too!

archiwiz said...

LOL...It really is an art ohh...Razzness is cool joo...And there are levels...levels of razzness...:)

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

"I have about three Alhajas in my family and they all sell fabric, have gold teeth, wear fake lashes and drink stout."

Long live the gold teeth wearing, Guinness stout drinking alhajas!!!!

miz-cynic said...

yes o i fil u o.i n my sista hv ds vry raz way of cnversing wn were alone n men!is it fun! bt w cnt b caugt dead speakn lyk dt in public.d oda day she ws gstn m of hw she wntd 2 buy turkey n she wnt lyk-pls cn u shw m d coldroom.n d women al shuk dir head n said they dnt knw until one yung ladi thr cm n corectd her sayn-aunty ko n se beyen na se n pe.kol room na n pe.she sef quik reg. snc she wan chop turkey dat dy.

princesa said...

lol!
These days, razz is the new cool so carry go jare!

Unknown said...

Another proud member of the razz race signing in. You could not have put it better...kudos to us jare...with the stout-drinking Alhajas 'ton ta so ni gota' and all...thanks for putting us out there, ma sista. This put a wide smile on my face.

Anonymous said...

maithumbi said...
Razz purfect!

But nose piercing is not razz, that one is tush, now


Where did you get that from?? A nose piercing is tush?? LOL!! Thats why she put it there, it is razz as anything, and we LOVE it!!xx

atunnise said...

Chei, everybody's nw claiming razz...na wa o!
You razz jare, no long tin'!;-)

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Ife said...

Yes ohhh! Razz to the bone! Abi e no dey kill person

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