For the Gift of Health
Tears are streaming down my face as nurses labor over by weak and overheating body to find a vein within which to insert an IV for the much needed fluids to bring me back from the brink of convulsions, intubations and God knows what. It has been two days since this illness has been ravaging my body, two days since I have been able to function as I know how, two days since I have been able to pray as I should and ten minutes since I brought up my enzyme devoured insides in a gory mixture of blood and bile to decorate the kind nurses' shoes with.
I am trying to call God's name. I cannot. I try to call my mother. I cannot. The only sounds that emanate accompanied with the putrid breath of sickness from my mouth are guttural and incomprehensible. I am 23 years old and the nurses are talking softly to calm me down as though I were a baby. I have been stripped of clothing as liquids have been expelled from avenues I can no longer control. My eyes are beginning to roll back and even though they do not raise alarm, I can sense their panic...especially as a doctor comes in and takes over.
That was wednesday. This is Sunday. And it seems a lifetime ago. I can do nothing but thank God that he chose not take me now and in such a painful manner. My parents placed frantic calls once they found out and were thrown into more dissarray when I could not respond to them over the phone. I was so weak, I could not pray for myself. My father prayed for me. Over the phone. My aunt and her friends dropped all they were doing to rush to my side. My roommate watched in helpless panic as I deteriorated before her eyes.
Why this long story? Because it is February. The Days of love. When most people look to chocolates, wine, jewelry, pre-inscribed words on a card and an expensive restaurant dinner as fufliment of love in their lives. I never thought I would be 23 and would never have had a val but after last week it would have been worse to just end at 23 and never truly lived.
Join me, if you wish- this is not to say that if you do, something is lacking- and celebrate the gifts that we have this month. I spent just a few days incapacitated praying for healing and I was spent. Imagine those whose prayer that has been since their first breath on this earth.
Take things easy. My break down was brought on by stress. I was going through financial issues, school issues, a break up and I just kept going and going and going and not taking time to just breathe. I am glad God stopped me this way and not worse. Imagine if I had had a stroke or something.....God forbid. Still, it could be worse.
It's February. You are alive and well. Be happy for that. Greet the day with joy and excitement. Take a second look at that which you call mundane and try and see what is spicy about what you do. Realise that your life is full, so that you are not looking for someone to fill it for you but to share it with and someone who realising what an opportunity you have given them would choose to share theirs with you.
Let's lift our glasses...of juice and soda (no alcoholics here...Rayo step away from the bottle) and let's drink to the gift of good health.
It has been God's valentine to me. And I share with you.