Saturday, January 26, 2008

Yesterday was Friday and I almost forgot my hometraining at home

Update: please check this out...







It started of very nice with God giving me something that I really needed and that I was petrified, I would not get. I was so happy, I was floating. Then I received a call at last minute from the Nigerian embassy asking me to come and pick up a document that was supposed to have been ready since Tuesday and so, I got up wrapped myself in warm winter clothing and set off for the representation of my country on American soil.

I don't know about you, but I feel that Nigerians have a way of disgracing themselves irrespective of their social status and position.

Please tell me why it took five good minutes to get the door opened for me to enter the embassy? I will tell you: Because every single one of their useless selves was glued to the TV watching football. I could hear them shouting at the screen, telling the players to run this way and that, gasping and groaning when the said player did not adhere to the words being screamed at him through the screen. Then, after I nearly broke the call button because I just refused to take my fingers off it till the door was opened, one pot bellied, possibly bare literate individual came and screamed at me, asking why I was making so much noise.



"We have heard you! Why are you making noise?!" He screamed at me.



If anyone has the number to call Yara-on-the-dialysis machine, please send it to me because some people have to be fired.



So, I screamed right back, "I have been standing here. It is cold. Why is there no one to answer me?!"



"I am answering you!"


"Now you are....!!!!". Jeez, so irritating. So the man messes with me some more by telling me to pull on the door when he has not buzzed me in. I know the glass was tinted, but I could see that Murra-fohka smirking. He needed to be glad that I am too broke to buy a gun and that the glass was bullet proof.


I go in and am made to wait in this huge atrium space lobby. I am seated across from this man whose features tell me that either he or someone in his lineage was from south east Asia and I had to avoid his eyes as the shouts of the overly excited embassy staff filtered through the building while we sat in wait and unattended to.


Then fast forward forty five minutes later, the lady comes downstairs to tell me that some documents were missing from my package. Documents that she would have been alerted to tell me about if the man who was supposed to have signed the bloody thing had looked at it at all during the week and not twenty minutes after they told him that I was waiting for him downstairs. I mean, I had called the office at least twice a day, every day and yet no one could have given me the information.


Did they not understand that I had had to skip part of class and walk in that ghastly cold to get there? Did they know that my mother was waiting on this document to arrive and that alot of other things were hinged on it? Did they know and did they care?


I almost lost my temper. the woman noticed it and stood a good three feet away which later was amusing because I responded to all she said in silence. i was so upset, I thought I would start crying if I spoke and if I had started crying, then I would have become hysterical and then I would have sepe-d for the lot of them. I mean the sign in book was a Big Note exercise book ruled and labelled by hand!!!!!!!


*breathe Catwalq breathe* I walked away from her without saying good bye and if the main doors not been made of bullet proof glass and steel, I would have slammed it on my way out. If I had tried and it did manage to swing out, the force of its recoil coming in contact with my face would have landed me a $200.00 ride in an ambulance.


While the embassy team was watching TV, a protest was happening down the street in front of the Isreali embassy.


So while Nigerians were worried about the scores of that irritating game, people were braving the cold to protest an injustice...and after hearing about the dire conditions in Gaza, I realised how greatful I had to be because my case could have been much worse than having to deal with a couple of incompetent, unprofessional and inefficient people.

33 comments:

Rayo said...

*sigh*

You can take the person out of Naija but you can never take Naija out of the person. Quite sad.

Arewa said...

One word.....TYPICAL. Professionalism out the window. I beg save ur breath its just not worth stressing over. How are ur studies going....?

Bubbles said...

That's just sad. Nigerians will be ngerians regardless of where they are. You would think things would be better outside the country, but no! It's the same old mess.

yayi said...

I dont know when Nigerians are gonna trash that non chalant attitude when it comes to running an establishment...they are so unprofessional. LOL at the ambulance ride.Great post.

Jinta said...

at least, the person that phoned you was not watching tv - hahaha

reminds me of an incidence at the naija high commission in london when an oficial gave an indian man a dirty slap for complaining about the wait. it was witnessed by my brother and when he recounted it, i felt a sense of shame for weeks

bumight said...

pele, I will just echo rayo's comments.

Afrobabe said...

lol...I swear nigeria embassys are the same world wide...they must have a school that teaches them how to behave.

Allied said...

pele jare.. I have made it a point never to step into that embassy again, at least they called you. The embassy here in NYC, I kid you not. The phone was disconnected for non payment.

And when the phone is working, it never gets picked up.

NEVER

Honeywell said...

oh lord, nigerians.....
I don't blame you, i would've almost spat in that dude's face for messing with you about the door.... and to not have what you want ready after waiting for 45 mins!!!!! Lord have mercy..... What kills me is the sign in book ruled by hand (probably blue biro) and staff screaming at the tv... so unprofessional......

Dami said...

kai naija embassy staff are the same everywhere!!

kpele take choco-milo drink

Omosewa said...

Lawd, so annoying!!!

Anu boy said...

thats mad funny, sorry oh...

יש (Yosh) said...

SO sad...u can imagine that's u in d US dealing with just one Naija agency. Picture yourself in this society daily with: PHCN officials, bank personnel, fuel station, markets, supermarkets, etc etc. U'd almost lose your sanity. The bliss!

As much as it can be done, try and do online unless it's absolutely ne-ce-ssa-ry (like I assume this document thingy was) that u have to face some unhappy punk anywhere. I've saved myself a lot of stress doing stuff electronically.

pele...[hugs]

Uzo said...

Sad that most of the consultes abroad are the same..But my strategy with dealing with the ones in London and New York - dont be confrontational with them...I use sir and ma to kill them. Even on the phone. They commend me and tell me what good home training i have and how everyone they see is rude..then they make sure i have everything i need...In fact the last time i got my passport renewed, the man in New York called me over and over to make sure that UPS had delivered my passport.

LOL..M like whatever..but it serves the purpose right?

anonymous gal said...

SORRY O.NIGERIANS WILL BE NIGERIANS.

bumight said...

one more thing:
how will your "goods" be getting to u?

Anonymous said...

catwalq i have been at the niger embassy in DC and i totally feel you...they are so rude..OMG!!!!!!!!!!!they left me too out for a while b4 they opened the gaddem door.......thank God it was summer..they all had an attitude and were all untidly dressed...the receptionist woman in the main hall had this wacked weave on her head...i was so tempted to shake the weave i thot maybe Owls will fly out from it..she was already frowning when she saw me coming!Thank God for connection i got my passport in about a week!

@ uzo i feel u o jare...its when u get to 9ja embassy you r reminded that you have to kiss butt to get what you want "yes ma,yes sir,thank you very much ma,God bless sir"..u turn to a secondary school pupil again!

Naapali said...

Pele!

NIGERIA POLITRICKS said...

I turn in my passport for renewal at the consulate in NY, then got my passport back and my names were jacked up...mailed it back in for them to make the correction, even hoping for a brand new passport...but got it back couple days later with my name all written with a ink pen; a biroooo!...sad, but it's true...

pamelastitch said...

I no go lie Catwalq, football sweet no be small. I would have been screaming along.


But. I do agree with you, there has to be a place for everything.

Atutupoyoyo said...

Ah some perspective I see. A most rare commodity these days

Adekunle Shobowale said...

I just go into Breathe in Breathe out...stay calm mode.And expect the worst. You won't be shocked.

Naija Chickito said...

Awww, not to worry, It'll be alright.

shola pacheco said...

yep they are all the same ,the niger one in uk actually plays some fuji music while ur on hold.anyways niger just being who they are forgive them.

exschoolnerd said...

pele my dear...

CONSCIOUSNESS said...

...yes Ms. Catwalq!!

...Salutations sista!...u definitely killed it on this one...so much so that as opposed to getting copyright clearances from your good self...I proceeded to solicit laughs by telling 'nuff of my mates about the incident, of course at all times quoting your brilliance at capturing the event so vividly...like most people who have had the misfortune of stepping into any Nigerian mission (a place that by diplomatic conventions is actually Nigerian soil) at some point, I've also felt EXTREMELY livid at the discourtesy one has to stomach...my only comforting thought during visits there reside in the knowledge that I will at some point escape the enclosed contraption of lunacy to the free world i.e. the sidewalk...ironic that our only supposed haven as foreign nationals is a torture chamber/circus and even at times a bleeding zoo...bless up yourself again for allowing us access to your repertoire of classic posts...


Peeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaacccce!!

C!!

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

Rayo: actually on this case, I beg to differ cos I am also Nigerian. One with definitions on what proper public and professional conduct is as are you...I mean, I was working before I left and I knew how to conduct myself and when.

Arewa: Is that not sad...school is coming along. we are trying

Bubbles: Some Nigerians should not be citizens of our country, bikonu

Yayi:I hope they do soon...thanks

Boda Jinta: o ti o...

Bumight: then u can share the
response, no? how is med skool. Dokita!!!!

Afrobabe: Actually, the issue is that they don't have any. I am sure there are no training sessions in international relations...

Allied: I am just floored by all the comments people are leaving sharing experiences of what a useless system we have

Honeywell: spit in his face bawo? I can't waste my saliva like that o...

Dami: lol...where on earth will I get choco-milo drink. I did not know it existed sef. i am going to drink Bournvita instead...

omosewa: u can say that again...

anu boy: i was not laughing ooo

Yosh: 1) I am greatful for the fact that I do not have to deal with that on a daily basis
2) Online ke? did you not read the post? Men, you are looking at the embassies of the 31st century
3)where have u been?

Uzo: that is probably my undoing. I never knew how to suck up and that has cost me a few things in my time...same thing as I don't really know how to flirt.

Anonymous girl: well the useless ones at least

Bumight: let's see...I prefer home delivery....

Anonymous: LMAO!!!...I am sorry, u were saying?

Dr.Naapali: note the title...thank u

Nigeria Politricks: lol...*sigh* lol...*shakes head* I am passed being sad by this.

Pamelastitch: I will have cained u...yes there is a time and place for everything.

Atutu: no word from your end?


Adekunle Shobowale: lol...please don't make me cry

Naija Chikito: thank u o jare...all we have is hope

Shola Pacheo: fuji music would have been good....

Exschoolnerd: where have u been??????

Consciousness: u always crack me up because it takes me like three reads to decipher what u say...how r u?

Rayo said...

'Tis true that you are very well mannered, I can vouch for that. But you can't deny that some of your behaviors are stereotypical 'Nigerian acts.' For example, when you go to a birthday party and all they have is chips and soda. [Think: ah ah...isn't this supposed to be a party? Ni bo ni rice ati shiken?]

CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS said...

Rayo: u r a pant. shikeen ko, armbohgah ni.

Rayo said...

lol you know it's true...

aworan said...

You should try the Niaja High Commission down in London. What a nightmare. While on the subject, I was sending money by W.U home to my mum and the guy doing the transfer asked me if I had any I.D. I asked why would i have to show I.D, and do other people have to show it, and he said, "Only for transactions going into Nigeria!"

InCogNaija said...

Those fools, the exact same embassy gave me an appointment for a day they were closed. It was like 4 of us waiting outside the gates with no sign that said "we no dey here o" we were just waiting till we got tired and later found out it was a holiday in naija and we got the short end of the stick plus we did not even get any apologies later. What a mess!!
And, by the way, that is my neck of the woods, you must have been within shouting distance of me...oh yea, i remember now that i saw you! lol!!

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