This morning

1. I discussed the Arab-Isreali conflict and went over popular opinions that the Arabs were the descendants of the son of Abraham that he had by his female slave and the Isrealis are the descendants of the son of Sarah. I put forward that if that is the case, then I blame Abraham for using a woman for his own personal means and discarding her when he was through with her because he had found an alternative. I am not sure if it is written anywhere( as I don't read the bible) but it is quite possible that the slave girl was raped. Imagine that situation where you are so horribly violated, forced to bear a child only for you and your child to be cast away when something more favourable to your tormentors came about. I figured that was probably enough motive to want to casue trouble. However, that does not explain away generations of violence to one another--the Isrealis and Arabs I mean.

2. Which also brought up the topic of "the chosen ones". Who decides who are the chosen ones? And how do we know the "texts" advocating them as chosen ones were not solely written by them and part of propaganda masquerading as religious material

3. Then I thought about different scenarios that I had read( briefly) or learned about from the orthodox religious faiths that I could turn into satire for a stage performance. I have already come up with my version of the Nativity tale (that one always cracks me up when i imagine how it will be executed). I have one for the story of the Garden of Eden, where Adam is just a lecherous fool who thought with his stomach and his penis....and now, I have one that will be set in the House of Abraham....

4. Which now reminds me of the show House of Saddam; an awesome film project bringing together some of the best actors of middle Eastern descent. I am so in love withj Igal Naor. I don't care that he is 50 years old, we can always work something out.

5. Which brings me to my fascination with older men. Why can't I just gravitate towards someone at least six years older? What is it about a man in his forties or in some cases fifties (depending on what he looks like) that makes my knees water...? Someone said that women who move with older men are looking for a father figure. I disagree. I have a father. One that was always there and would possibly wring my neck if I brought home a man just nine years his junior. I like who I like. Shikena

6. Which caused me to think about sex and how long it had been since I had had any and how I was not even in the mood to take off my clothes on the account that I was not looking as I would want to look...so, i decided that I must once again, go on a diet and this time be consistent.

7. Then I thought of what it would mean to be consistent. I need discipline in my life. I thought of all the wasted time I had misused in the past year and all the projects that either had to be abandoned or shelved...

8. Then I thought of all my business ideas and how much money I need to do what I want to do

9. Then I thought about where I could get the money

10. Then I thought about money some more

11. And some more...

12. Then I said I would make another unending list of things to do so I could get organised. Then I chastised myself because I make those lists everyday and never seem to be able to get them done or keep to task

13. Then I wondered where the list I made for yesterday was

14. I couldn't find it.

15. I checked my handbag.

16. It was not there

17. Could it be on the table?

18. I think someone trashed it which would be ironic because I am the one always trashing pieces of paper that look like trash.

19. I think I have created a cleanliness monster.

20. I need my own place

21. Then I went online to look for affordable apartments.

22. I need money

23. So I thought about money some more

24. Then I thought about whether I would break rules to make money

25. I told myself: you have been in this country for five years (in a couple days) and you have not broken rules, why start now?

26. I couldn't be a prostitute.

27. Too much work.

28. I need a job. I have been looking for one for months, one that will allow me to work and be paid cash because the law says that I cannot work off campus and there are no jobs on campus.

29. Would working not be breaking the rules?

30. Aaaaaarrrrgggghhh!!!

31. You know what, I am not stressed.

32. I am going to go eat something.

33. First what is on TV?

34. Oooohhh, sexy Said Tamaghoui

35. *sigh*

36. It is 12:33 pm...what do I eat for breakfast sef?

37. Let me go take a shower.

38. Thank God no one is forcing me to do anything, like work in servitude or whatever

39. Not like Abraham's slave girl.

40. Which brings me back to the Arab-Isreali conflict...what would it take for us all to get along? ehn?!!!!

Consistency

MERRY XMAS

The bus to tomorrow

picture from

Sit here

With your bag of dreams

The bus to tomorrow has not yet come

If you like

You can begin the walk

If it stops to pick you

Then

Or else

you take longer

With a bag of so much

Don't think of the heat of the burning sun

There is water in the course of the sojourn

The bus to tomorrow has yet to come

In the distance, you should see its form

Its slow chug making you to breathe fast

Does not mean that it moves to meet the beat

Sit here

With your bag of dreams

The bus to tomorrow has not yet come

If you like

you can begin to walk

If it stops to pick you

Then

Or else

you take longer

With a bag of so much

Hahahahahahahahahaha

Hahahahahahahahahaha

I must laugh, the story is riddled with mirth.

You cannot return, The words were flung at you

With your bag of so much, telling you to take your foolish dreams

And leave the simplicity of their unimaginative peace

You spat your goodbye, you refused to cry

You have no time, you must catch your ride

So you hurried and hurried to the station

Where the dust had cloaked with a blanket so brown

Only to find that the bus was no where around

Sit here

With your bag of dreams

The bus to tomorrow is yet to come

If you like

you can begin to walk

If it stops to pick you

Then

Or else

you take longer

With a bag of so much

They can come up to you

And offer you a lift

Faster they will get there

and faster they will split

It is hot I know, but the cool they offer is not so

The ride so fast, it brings vomit up and out

Do you even arrive?

And how do you pay for this ride so fast that they offer?

Me thinks they have seen your bag of dreams

And that is why they know that you need to get somewhere

And that you must have been waiting awhile.

Sit here, joo

With your bag of dreams

The bus to tomorrow has not yet come

If you like

You can begin to walk

If it stops to pick you

Then

Or else

you take longer

With your bag of so much

Sit here

With your bag of dreams

Sit here

I will sit with you

I too, have my bag of dreams

The bus to tomorrow will soon come

Sit here