CATWALQ ACADEMIE IV

(JSS3X STUDENTS UNDER PUNISHMENT ON THE ASSEMBLY GROUND)

30+: I don't know what I did to offend God but he really needs to forgive me immediately.

Princessa: My sister, my sister, my sister

Waffarian: Chei, how am i supposed to start going back to Warri this night?

Ugo D: Why are we always in trouble every day? Me I am tired o

Boorish: *laughing hysterically*

30+: What is this one problem now?

Waffarian: His own has not yet worn off

Ugo D: I am so fucking upset.

Jeremy Naija Blog: You can say that again...why are we out here and the others aren't?

Geisha: They are all in the sick bay. And senior Bimbylads said she is not releasing us unless we confess

Waffarian: If I had known, I for bin join them ehn. At least I would have enjoyed some part of this.

Jeremy: Look here, these knees were not built for this type of punishment. This is unjust! This is inhumane! This is....!

Boorish: Oyinbo, abeg quiet before I brush you. Don't explode my brain joo. *bursts into laughter*

Geisha: Hey God oooooo, what is all this?

30+: my mother is going to kill me

Princess: my mummy that told me that if I got into any more trouble she will shave my head

Ugo D: I think gorimapa is going to be quite in vogue for most of us

Geisha: se if it was only shaving of our heads that will be okay, we might get suspended.

Waffarian: If catch that useless Anonymous, I am going to rearrange her front teeth.

Ugo D: I think her fall down the stairs already beat you to it.

30+: Me, I am going to use grass to braid her hair

Boorish: *almost rolling on the floor* Please wait...I can't breathe. *pauses* wait, what are talking about?

Ugo D: Yo Boor, u might want to go drink some water or something...or be quiet.

Boor: (leaning over and putting his arm around Ugo's shoulder) I love you man.

Geisha: We are finished.


IN THE SICK BAY

Nurse Lighty: Eees you!!! Get down from that buglary proof now!!!

D.O.G: monkeeeeeeeee! Monkeeeeee!


Yosh: (singing) it's a beautiful daaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

Toyintomato: Orobokibo....ki bo rocky. yeah men, yeah men. dat yeye woman. come and went and went and went

Atutupoyoyo: and went where?

Toyintomato: Hehn? wharrautalginhabout?

Atutupoyoyo: I didn't know you had a twin, what is she doing here?

Toyintomato: hehn?

AtutuP: There's two of you

Nurse Sparkle: Jisoz!!! Get up! Stop That! see this useless girl pissing on the floor

Overwhelmed: oops

Idemmili: Dude, look I have four boobs

Ubong Da: yeah

Idemmili: That's my arse silly

Ubong Da: Looks like boobs to me

Idemmili: Everything looks like boobs to me

Yosh: I like boobs. can I have yours?

Idemmili: No

Yosh: Why?

Idemmili: cos...cos...(pauses and thinks) cos I lost them

Ubong Da: yeah.... I miss them, they were nice

Toyintomato: Atutu, se you like me

Atutu: of course... I like all three of you

Toyintomato: Yes....ehn?

FineBoy: Kpakpa is a fine girl, eeyah eeyah oooooo

Kpakpando: (giggling)

Omodudu (lying very still)

LOOKING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW

Jaja: I don't know whether to laugh or cry

Solomonsydelle: We are in serious trouble. We can't go back to class or we will have to serve punishment. We can't go in, cos they will carry us with them

36 Inches...: What happened sef?

Jaja: I don't even know.

Solomonsydelle: It's that useless Anonymous o. She brought this drink to class and gave it to everyone to drink.

36 Inches...: and then? so is it now alcohol that is doing them like this?

Jaja: I have a feeling there was something else in that keg

36 Inches...: Haba!!! Keg ke? Where did she find it

Solomonsydelle: me, i know? That trouble maker. That's how she was spreading rumours that time and made people to be fighting

(Nwanyi Ocha, Taurean Minx Olawunmi appear)

Nwanyi: You!!!

Jaja/Solomonsydelle/36: Senior me?

Nwanyi: No, my twin sister....Msstssststhw!!! What happened?

Jaja: I...I...erm...

Olawunmi: Young man, choose your words wisely

Solomonsydelle: I think some of the class might have, probably, supposedly, kind of , in a way were sort of ...

Taurean Minx: Is the end of your sentence and the point the same thing?

Nwanyi Ocha: maybe if i slap all your three heads together, you will wake up and start talking

Olawunmi: Are you not in the same class as the Ghana-must-go dudes?

Taurean Minx: His name is Fine Boy....(Olawunmi raises his eyebrows)

Nwanyi Ocha: One more time, what happened? Kpakpando was involved?

36: I am not in the class...I was not there

Nwanyi: Then be silent!

Jaja: They got hold of some funny liquid and most of the class drank it

Olawunmi: How "funny" is funny?

Taurean Minx: I mean, someone bit Mrs. Somebody...

Olawunmi: Who was it?

Jaja: I believe it was Toyintomato.

36: Why? (realising)...am very sorry.

Jaja: Apparently, she felt that Mrs. Somebody was shouting at her husband too much so she jumped from her chair and bit the teacher.

Taurean Minx: (trying not to laugh) And who is this her husband?

Solomonsydelle: Atutupoyoyo.

Olawunmi: I am tired of this class. Everytime I am summoned by the proprietor, I have to come sort something you have done out. I think all the miscreants are in this class

Nwanyi Ocha: I am going to beat that stupid Kpakpa until she can't see straight. Now her mother is going to be shouting that I am not taking care of her daughter. How am I supposed to help it that her daughter is prone to mango tree climbing, Ghana-must-go shipments and alcohol consumption? You know she had to be chased down by two teachers? they caught her when she tried to climb the fence. She was so high she was just jumping in the air,she could not find the wall

Olawunmi: I have a bloody headache

IN THE SICKBAY

Nurse Lighty: Overwhelmed, sit still

Overwhelmed: There are seven continents in the world

Nurse Lighty: (sarcastically) No shit

Overwhelmed: Yes...and you have sweaty armpits

Nurse Lighty: (Thinking) I don't think anyone will suspect if I just give this girl pain killers

Fine Boy: Kpakpando, you are very pretty. I am just lawling, anytime i see you. Just lawling

Kpankpando: lawl, lawl, lawl

Omodudu: (lying very still) I think the fan is trying to run away

Yosh: I like fans. Can I have that one?

Idemmili: Do my boobs look like fans?

Ubong Da: yes...all three of them


So I will be out till Sunday. enjoy and please feel free to leave your comments